This is exactly 'Why' I need to be here

      Lucky(name changed), a Grade 4th student of  my class,  travels everyday to the school by bus.  In the last three years, he changed three schools and once switched medium of instruction from Marathi to English. He can barely do a single digit addition.  He can add 3 + 3 at the tip of his tongue as everyday he carries exactly Rs 6 to pay for his bus ticket that costs Rs 3 one way.   Lucky  reading skills are of below 4 grades.   I must add that Lucky is an enthusiastic and a keen learner. He believes schooling will make him intelligent and make him go to a good college and eventually find him a good job.

      Students like Lucky are a grim reminder of my need to be here in the classroom and provide quality education  In the last 8 months, it was not possible for us to cater to the differentiation in the classroom.  Thanks to my co-teacher Nithya, we are working around to have parallel instruction time. Secondly, I plan to create additional instructional time outside the classroom.

   According to the ASER Report - 2012 , of all children enrolled in Standard V 46.5% students cannot solve two digit addition with carryover.
  (Source : "http://img.asercentre.org/docs/Publications/ASER%20Reports/ASER_2012/nationalfinding.pdf)

My students have three more months before they graduate to Grade 5th. I am going to make sure that 'Every' student in the class has mastered atleast three digit addition,subtraction, two-by-two multiplication and four-by-one division .  Thanks to Lucky real life addition skill by purchasing bus ticket. I learnt  the need to correlate the learning in the classroom with the real world.

It can't be worse than today. And tomorrow is yet another day

      For days, I almost dragged myself out of the bed to turn up at the school.  From my experience, one of the most difficult thing to do is - Teach .   I chose to be a teacher and I am loving it.  I understand the responsibilities of being a teacher. We shape the future of an individual and in turn future of the nation.

      I fail .  I fail innumerable times in a day. It is hard to smoothly run the show. A typical classroom is something like this - Students  pick up a fight at the drop of a hat, students  use the most refined swear words, yelling, a student chasing another.  We try to hold the fort, often put off fire and occasionally try to teach.   I blame myself for the state of things.  The challenges are plenty - cater to various learning styles, differentiated learners, students with learning disability, needs & wants of the students, the list is endless.
 
     The most challenging part has been build a strong bond with the students and understand the reasons for their behavior.   It is challenging to inspire someone to do make things you believe is the right thing to do. In the words of David Eisenhower ' Leadership is t he art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it ". I couldn't agree more.

      Each day is a struggle within. Nevertheless  I would like to make sure each time I fall down I bounce back. 

Will do whatever it takes to fix things. 

it's definitely an unfair world..

     I am deeply overwhelmed . The news is yet to sink.  Why does it happens &  Why him?   I know a teacher is supposed to be unbiased, but 'S'  is my favorite student. His cute smile makes my day.

     A week ago, 'S' was tested  for learning disability. Sometime back, to my utter dismay, the psychiatrist
tells us that 'S' has  intellectual disability and ADHD. I am shaken up.

     A lot of my questions doesn't have answers. .  At Teach For India, I aspire to turn around
lives of my students and provide them with skills and equal opportunities on par with students from higher income strata.  I feel helpless & defeated.

   Nevertheless, I am going to be there for 'S' and will leave no stone unturned to prepare 'S' for the perceived mainstream life.